Really?

Do you find yourself wondering why would she think this or how could he do that? We often are perplexed by other people’s thoughts and behaviors.

For example, “I just don’t understand why no matter what I present to her, she always thinks it could be better”. Or “how on earth would you think that just winging it would bring you results? You need to have a schedule for yourself.”

How about “it just seems to me that they should take charge and get that house cleaned up”. Or “I can’t believe you don’t see how those two would be perfect for that project”.

We all do it!

Sound familiar? We all do it. And we all suffer the consequences from it. We drive ourselves crazy lamenting about why people just don’t use common sense or do what is right. What we don’t realize is that they are, but for themselves, not us. But life would be so much easier if people just followed our line of thinking. Easier maybe, but better, definitely not.

This is where being familiar with the CliftonStrengths and how they show up differently for each person is crucial in increasing the emotional intelligence needed to ease annoyances. Having this knowledge at the forefront of your thinking helps reduce a significant amount of frustration that comes from judgment. Let me show you how with a previous example given.

Maximizer

“I just don’t understand why no matter what I present to her, she always thinks it could be better”. This is indicative of someone who has the Maximizer strength high. Their reaction to your work is not about you or actually even your work. It is about the fact that their brain is wired to always strive for better. Where emotional intelligence comes into play is when that person is able to realize that their instinct to always seek betterment, can be upsetting to others so they learn to read the audience and know when to be mindful of curtailing how they present their thoughts in a manner that won’t be harmful. On the flip side, when you know that they have the Maximizer strength high, it helps you to not take their reaction as a criticism but rather, just how they go about doing things best for themselves.

For an explanation of all the examples, listen here.

Fingerprints

When we understand that the way Strengths show up for each person is likened to their fingerprint, it helps us stop judging people for being themselves instead of being, doing and thinking like us based on the way our Strengths show up for us. We are all meant to be different and thank good ness for that. Just think of how boring our world would be if we were all the same and how much we would miss out on people complimenting one another’s attributes and gifts.

So the next time someone does something that baffles you, stop and remind yourself, they are just honoring their own Strengths.