Worried About Making It On Your Own?
The 20's are a very exciting yet nerve wracking time. I think it is one of the most neglected transitions in life in terms of acknowledging the stress involved. You are off to make your way in the world but independence, especially if not taught or encouraged as you were growing up may be a daunting idea.
Parental Hand Holding
The amount of hand holding done by parents sets the course for how much worry will ensue both by parents and the new adult. Many have been raised having all or most problems solved for them, worries eased, tasks handled and necessities paid for by parents.
As much as we think it is our job or the way to show love to our kids to do everything for them, we are actually just disempowering them causing stress and anxiety when it is time to live and provide for themselves.
I am not suggesting cutting them off at 18 or to stop supporting and parenting them. In fact, I don’t give parenting advice because that is not my forte. But I do watch, listen to and am aware of anxiety. So I work to help my clients overcome it. This quite often is done by feeling accepted for who they are and how they do things even when very different from how you would do them.
As a parent of 3 boys all in their 20’s, I know how difficult it can be to watch them make mistakes without jumping in to prevent or fix them for them. But those mistakes are part of the learning process and a big part of self development. In fact, I believe parenting adult children is the most difficult of all the parenting stages.
When Pressure Leads to Shut Down
This is the time when pressure to get a job, get your own place, find a life partner, possibly start a family and decide what part of the world you want to live in, while having the belief in yourself to do it all when so many things are very new. If your adult kid is shutting down and not motivated to tackle the list above, knowing their Strengths will help you know how to guide them in a way that is best suited for them, without nagging and pressuring them to get moving.
It is also helpful to remember that in most cases when people appear to be lazy, it is just a reaction to feeling overwhelmed and unsure of themselves. Building their emotional intelligence will help set them up for success even when they choose to change course.
Ease the Stress
If you are facing adulthood and all the responsibilities that come with it and are struggling with thinking how are you going to make it on your own while accomplishing everything expected of you by others or by your own goals, I have a tangible resource to help you.
Knowing, understanding and living in your top Strengths from your personal Strengths order and being able to recognize and pull yourself up when you drop into your bottoms will give you a guide as to how you do things best setting you up for confidence and success.
That coupled with emotional intelligence mentoring will provide you with the self-awareness necessary to live an authentic life and be able to take curve balls and setbacks in stride while getting yourself back on track.
There's no need to worry. Having a strong sense of self beyond figuring out the logistics, will help you make it on your own in the way that is meant for you.
