Mixed-feelings May
It’s been a few years, but I totally remember the mixed feelings that come with the month of May. Summer break is right around the corner. On one hand, woohoo for summertime! No more dragging the kids out of bed for school, packing lunches, arguing about homework and racing to get to all the after school activities. But on the other hand, oh noooo for summertime! No more clean house, setting your own schedule during the day, enjoying a few hours of peace and quiet and enjoying a break from nagging. And not to mention the adjustment with the college kids coming home.
Comparison -itis
Oh what it would be like to have one of those picture perfect summers you see on instagram where everyone is laughing, playing and enjoying time together right?! Even though we know people don’t show their true lives on social media, it can still be hard to not want to live up to what we see. Wouldn’t it be nice to enjoy having your kids around without nagging, arguing and feeling frustrated? Well, guess what, that can happen! And for real.
Control-freak
What if I told you that I finally found the secret to having control of your family without being controlling?! I know, it seems impossible right? After 25 years of being a stay at home mom raising 3 boys, I am sharing with you what I wish I would have known back then. As a recovering control freak, I have finally found peace. Now granted, my kids no longer live at home and so the days of summer angst are over, but trust me when I say, bigger kids, bigger worries. Parenting in the adult phase of their lives is the hardest period of parenting. Talk about giving up control, unless they are still dependent on you financially, you no longer have a say in the decisions they are making and just need to offer support as they are willing to take it and watch and pray that they don’t make life too hard on themselves. So it is even more imperative that we learn the secret to having control without being controlling.
Summer Solutions
But for now, I will keep focused on those of you who are approaching the days of kids sleeping in till all hours, spending their waking hours on their phones or on video games, leaving dishes and trash all over the house, balking at chores or helping out and wanting to come and go as they please whether old enough to get themselves around or expect you to be their personal uber at their beck and call. Oh, I remember alright! I know what you’re thinking, so where’s that magic solution you referred to, right?
Realize you are and are all meant to be different, your kids are not your mini me’s.
Expectations create disappointment for all involved.
Keep your focus on yourself and your own boundaries.
For more, be sure to download the 10 Tips to Empowerment guide offered here.
Change, conform, comfort
In other words, learn how each of you operates at your best and honor and respect ourselves and one another for it. Most of us put our energy into trying to change others to conform to be like we are because that is what we know and what we are comfortable with. But when we focus on strengthening who each person is individually instead, we learn to live in peace. Follow me as I dive deeper into how this concept works. And be sure to check out my previous blog posts and videos on my YouTube channel as well.
