Comparing Yourself to Others

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” is a quote many of us have heard throughout the years and  definitely rings true for a lot of us. 

Different Things to Different People

It is easy for some to get caught up in the mindset of thinking you are not good enough if you are not where others are or have accomplished what they have.  However, I am sure we all know people who get very motivated in a positive way by comparing themselves to others.  These people thrive on pushing beyond where others are or outdo what they have accomplished.  

One-Size Does Not Fit All

We run into trouble when we assume quotes like this should be applied to everyone.  When we buy into a one size fits all philosophy those that naturally don’t adhere to it are often left feeling shameful for it or may even flat out try to deny it in themselves to fit the mold. 

Advice

I absolutely love personal development but after understanding my strengths I realized that not every piece of advice I learned pertained to me, no matter how good it was.  If I read a book on time blocking and scheduling, I could appreciate the value of it but it just ended up stressing me out more because that is not how I operate naturally leaving me feeling like I was going about my tasks all wrong and feeling like a failure when I couldn’t implement what I had learned.

Exploring the Flip Side

And on the flip side of the quote above, if collectively we were to assume that everyone should live with a fierce competitive spirit,  many of us would struggle with feeling worthy.   We already have so many issues surrounding this with the emergence of online platforms and social media.  

Embracing Differences

When you understand that first of all, we are all not meant to handle things the same way and secondly, the more you understand how you differ and what makes you unique will help you to accept and embrace yourself for who you are, relieving unnecessary stress and anxiety that comes with thinking you should be more like someone else.  

Strengths Helps You Understand

So this is where knowing your personal Strengths order comes in.  Depending on where the Competition trait shows up, this comparison can motivate you, derail you or may not really affect you too much one way or another.  Knowing this about yourself helps set you up for success by guiding you through how to deal with situations best for you, without worrying about what everyone else thinks or does. 

The Competition Strength

For example, if it appears in your top 10, depending on the other Strengths in that list as well, you most likely will get very motivated by trying to outperform others.  This is usually a very positive experience for you and is what keeps you engaged in moving forward.  However if it is in your bottom 5, comparing yourself to others will more often than not put you in a dark place of self-doubt leading you to a lack of confidence and motivation.  Anywhere in the middle typically means you are not impacted too much one way or the other on comparisons and feeling like you need to measure up or beat others for your own sense of worth.  

Don’t Judge a Strength by it’s Name

Note:  don’t let the names of Strengths in the CliftonStrengths Assessment that I use fool you.  Quite often they don’t fully mean what you think they would for you.  The Competition Strength is my very lowest Strength (#34) which surprised me because I like to win. 

But once I understood that it was more about where I go mentally and emotionally when I feel like I am being compared to others either by other people or even myself, it makes perfect sense.  It is the fastest way to make me feel like I am not enough and wanting to just give up.  Now that I have this information in a concrete, tangible way, I am able to manage myself in a way that is more productive and conducive to who I am and how I do things best for myself.  

Let’s connect to find out where the Competition is on your Strengths order.